Get ‘Em--While They’re Young?- The Black Corner

The article read like a bad dream.

Earlier in October, according to published reports, a survey found that young women in the USA and Canada are more sexually active--and in some cases sexually aggressive--than young women in previous generations.

The study, released by San Diego State University, hit with the force of a well-placed missile with a nuclear payload. Researchers found that ‘…sexual guilt plummeted, especially among young women…’ They analyzed some 530 studies on sex spanning five decades and more than a quarter million young people.

The full report appears in the “Review of General Psychology”.

Now, a few columns back, I reflected upon a conversation I had with a very wise brother who serves as a school administrator in my neck of the woods. The topic centered on the ‘used to be taboo’ subject of sexual relations between adult female teachers and teenaged male students. He had heard through the proverbial grapevine that not only were these relationships flourishing; some older females were holding them up as an attractive alternative to the current dating scene.

“Easier to lead a boy, than to follow a man”, was his take on the issue.

Unfortunately, this past summer of 2005 would bear his words out as prophetic.
By my count there were at least five such incidents of adult female/student male involvement that made headlines--and I might have missed a few. In one case the male ‘participant’ was eight, and his ‘lover’ was above 30. Her excuse was ‘she just couldn’t help’ herself, engaging in a ‘fantasy relationship’ with the boy. She sent this boy love letters, and--in view of her daughter--was caught in bed at least once with the eight year old boy.

The subject of this month’s column is a different angle on this older woman/younger boy taboo, or even the study I mentioned at the head of this column. You see, what began as barely a whisper some five years ago will soon be shouted from newspaper headlines and Internet web pages. The matter I’m talking about is already on the streets, and taking place in society. In another five years we may see only the tip of the iceberg of the damage and destruction. The true tragedy of the issue is that few--if any--want to consider the risks.

It goes back to the earlier statement you read above: “Easier to lead a boy, than to follow a man.” We’re going to talk about sexually aggressive older women--and our young men.

FIRST--THE REALITY OF THE LAW:
In all jurisdictions, sex between adults and minors is FORBIDDEN by law. A minor is a male or female who is UNDER the age of consent in a particular state. This simply means that a minor can not enter into contracts, get a driver‘s license, drop out of school, or handle financial matters unless a parent/guardian gives their OK.

Let me also hasten to add this. IF there is a two year age difference between the participant and the victim, this will also be brought into legal play when charges are filed, whether there was ‘consent’ or not.
Thus, no matter how a minor may ‘look’ physically, if their age is NOT the age of majority, or the age of consent, sexual relations between a minor and an adult will lead to charges being filed--and those charges will be FELONIES. Plus, the ‘adult’ will be required--if found guilty of breaking the law--to register as a sex offender AND oftentimes will have to pay the therapy costs of their victim.

It boggles the mind how an adult female in a position of authority and trust, can seduce or ‘get busy’ with someone whom they KNOW is off limits to their sexual passions. Many of the women brought to justice and formally charged in these ‘relationships’ appear to be normal, healthy, and (in too many cases) married--with kids of their own.

I wonder what they would say and do IF one of their teenaged children would come home and say that their ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’ is 25 or older? You KNOW that they would be on the phone to the cops, the media, and their lawyers demanding ‘justice’ for their ‘baby’ who should have never gotten ‘mixed up’ in an illicit relationship that was beyond their years.

“Easier to lead a boy, than to follow a man”.

IF WE KNOW THIS GOING IN:
We have already demonstrated--on paper--the general legalities of adults and children engaging in sexual activity: One, because it is a criminal offense; two, because it causes psychological damage over the long term; three, it is selfishness and laziness on the part of the adult. That’s right, I said ‘selfishness’ and ‘laziness’. Think about it. By ‘bowing’ to the myths surrounding one’s own sexual urges, the adult woman snatching a boy off of the tree of his youth is an extension of ‘doing one’s own thing’.

Now those doing the ‘snatching’ are getting younger…and more determined.

Having said all that, the issue that is starting to surface in some urban areas is ‘young’ baby daddies, and ‘old’ baby mammas. Or, in other words, another version of the adult female/minor male drama.

Let’s say that Rhonda is 18 to 21 years old. Rhonda either discovers that she is pregnant, or she WANTS to be pregnant. Not wanting to enter the ‘risk’ of marriage or a ‘long term’ relationship, she spies under-16 year old Johnny around the hood. Johnny ‘hangs out’ because he doesn’t go to school, is two steps away from being expelled, has all of his (parts), looks like a man--from a distance--and has ‘seen’ Rhonda around.

One thing leads to another, and Johnny is led to believe that he is a ‘baby daddy’ at his young age--and he crows like a love-struck rooster. Rhonda goes to Johnny’s mom, and breaks the news to her about her pregnancy. However, she ‘hints’ that she won’t have Johnny charged with Rape as the two are ‘in love’. Johnny, being without much in the way of common sense, thinks he has ‘accomplished’ something and ‘admits’ that he is the baby daddy. Baby arrives. Rhonda has not only a built in baby sitter--but can legally tap Johnny’s mother’s purse via Child Support--IF she wanted to make things ugly. She’ll settle for ‘diaper money’ and babysitting of ‘their child’ while she goes out once or twice a week to ‘get her roll on’.
The ‘Statutory Rape’ of Johnny by Rhonda is seldom addressed in the conversation. Johnny’s mother doesn’t think that he was a victim in this scenario because--for the first time in Johnny’s life--he has ‘taken responsibility’. A DNA test of the child does not surface in the conversation either, as--again--Johnny has ‘fessed up’.

Of course, if Johnny’s mother decides to go to the cops, SHE risks having Johnny--and ‘his child’--taken away by the authorities. Rhonda ‘could’ risk being named as a ‘child molester’ for seducing Johnny (because he was under-sixteen) AND lose the baby to the Child Protective System--not to mention the jail time she could face.

You may be asking yourself how Johnny got himself into this mess. I’d like to say that he was properly schooled on sexual responsibility…but that begins at home. Home is also the place where true education and bible basics must be taught--and modeled.

In reality, there are a lot more ‘Rhondas’ on the prowl than ‘Johnnys’ able to block their advances. They are on a serious quest to get YOURS--while they are young. If they succeed, Johnny’s parents are going to watch him lose his youth--and financial health--rather quickly. They may be taken along for a ride to a place they don’t want to go.

Early Grandparent City.

MIKE RAMEY is the author of THE MANHOOD LINE. A syndicated, monthly column written for men from a biblical, business, and common sense perspective. It appears on fine websites around the world. Emails, Bmails and Pmails are welcomed to the following address: manhoodline@yahoo.com.